It took me years to realize that I have been a victim to gaslighting my entire life. It was quite common in my childhood especially when it was taught that girls shouldn’t have opinions.
I am now a woman who demands to be heard. It wasn’t always easy, particularly when I realized that I had been a victim to gaslighting in my romantic relationships. Being gaslighted is very common in romantic relationships as well as in social circles of friends and coworkers.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you feel as though your thoughts and feelings are not correct. They will lie straight faced, accuse you of being crazy for knowing, seeing and hearing the truth. The gaslighter takes zero accountability, twists your wording and projects their issues onto you.
On the receiving end of the gaslighting, you will feel overly exhausted, mentally confused – leaving you to second guess your cognitive understanding. The gaslighter is very manipulative and can leave you feeling defeated.
It’s difficult as is having your own insecurities, add in a gaslighter projecting theirs onto you, making you feel as if they’re insecurities are yours, and further believing in their lies!
Here are some tips on handling this situation with a gaslighter:
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE:
Stop engaging in debates with them. They are not listening to you. They are too busy gearing themselves.
DON’T GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY:
They love a good fight because they know you are a sensitive soul. They will wear you down! Hold your own, breathe and engage in something else.
REMOVE YOURSELF:
If you find yourself in the grip of a gaslighter, excuse yourself politely, make an excuse to shift the conversation. Go somewhere safe to collect yourself.
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY:
If you find yourself constantly questioning your gut feelings and what you know is hard evidence, don’t doubt yourself! You are not crazy! What you feel and know in your gut is your truth.
CALL THEM OUT:
This may be hard because it may result in an argument but if the person you are involved with is willing to learn and grow (yes a gaslighter can heal if they are willing to be aware), let them know it and stick to your conviction.
Learn more in my upcoming workshop.
Healing Relationships Online Workshop
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE WORKSHOP CLICK HERE
The Biggest Discovery… Ever since I was a little girl all I wanted to do was help. I wanted to heal and make sure everyone was taken care of but as time went on, I noticed more people would take than give and the idea of helping came with an expense of my own well-being. …
During the last few weeks of being home in self isolation, I’ve been deepening my connection and listening through silent contemplation, the thoughts of the collective consciousness. The waves of silent emotions are overwhelming. I can feel the impact that loss of connection has created. That we created. Our busyness had already caused us to …
No is a complete sentence. For so long it was so hard to say “No”. It came with feelings of complete and utter guilt. Guilt, that made me think that if I prioritize myself, that if I took time to care for myself or stood out in the crowd, that I was taking something from …
We have all heard that saying in the spiritual community, “Give and send love”. Even though I’m spiritual I don’t really find myself fitting into that community and some ideas are hard to process. Giving love felt a bit fake to me especially if I was upset or felt really hurt by someone. Tonight, I …
Gaslighting
Gaslighting
It took me years to realize that I have been a victim to gaslighting my entire life. It was quite common in my childhood especially when it was taught that girls shouldn’t have opinions.
I am now a woman who demands to be heard. It wasn’t always easy, particularly when I realized that I had been a victim to gaslighting in my romantic relationships. Being gaslighted is very common in romantic relationships as well as in social circles of friends and coworkers.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you feel as though your thoughts and feelings are not correct. They will lie straight faced, accuse you of being crazy for knowing, seeing and hearing the truth. The gaslighter takes zero accountability, twists your wording and projects their issues onto you.
On the receiving end of the gaslighting, you will feel overly exhausted, mentally confused – leaving you to second guess your cognitive understanding. The gaslighter is very manipulative and can leave you feeling defeated.
It’s difficult as is having your own insecurities, add in a gaslighter projecting theirs onto you, making you feel as if they’re insecurities are yours, and further believing in their lies!
Here are some tips on handling this situation with a gaslighter:
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE:
Stop engaging in debates with them. They are not listening to you. They are too busy gearing themselves.
DON’T GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY:
They love a good fight because they know you are a sensitive soul. They will wear you down! Hold your own, breathe and engage in something else.
REMOVE YOURSELF:
If you find yourself in the grip of a gaslighter, excuse yourself politely, make an excuse to shift the conversation. Go somewhere safe to collect yourself.
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY:
If you find yourself constantly questioning your gut feelings and what you know is hard evidence, don’t doubt yourself! You are not crazy! What you feel and know in your gut is your truth.
CALL THEM OUT:
This may be hard because it may result in an argument but if the person you are involved with is willing to learn and grow (yes a gaslighter can heal if they are willing to be aware), let them know it and stick to your conviction.
Learn more in my upcoming workshop.
Healing Relationships Online Workshop
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE WORKSHOP CLICK HERE
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