I often hear people say, “I just feel bad about myself all the time.” Shame has this tricky ability to keep you small in your emotions of guilt, loneliness and hopelessness. When shame creeps up, it’s a consuming feeling that can easily set you back into a spiral of addiction, unhealthy relationships and patterns. Shame pulls you away from allowing yourself to express your authenticity. It’s an internal battle that can leave you feeling completely depleted.
The following are a few indicators of living in your shame:
HIDING YOURSELF: you are worried about what others may say, feel or how they react towards you.
SELF SACRIFICE: you give yourself to others with no boundaries, expecting to be valued or loved in return. Usually in the alignment of needing acceptance.
PEOPLE PLEASING: who doesn’t love someone who accommodates and abandons their time, money and energy towards saving others instead of helping themselves. Stop being over agreeable!
BLAME: blaming yourself for something you are not responsible for.
RESPONSIBILITY: taking responsibility for individuals choices and consequences so you look supportive and understanding. Again, in the alignment of needing approval.
SOCIAL ANXIETY: this can lead to addictions and no self control.
These few points strongly indicate how much power shame has over you. Nonetheless, there is hope! You can heal this part of you, even though it may feel like a big challenge to look at and be with your shame.
Healing your shame looks like the following:
BOUNDARIES: Knowing what you like and how you’d like to be treated, and then putting that in motion. Boundaries come with conviction. This creates more confidence in your ability to say NO.
SELF CARE: Setting a daily routine of eating and sleeping well. Also, understanding your limits which will allow for a clearer mindset.
MINDSET: Take your time when someone asks something of you. Think it through. If it’s not what you’d like to participate in, then let the individual(s) know. Learn to be okay with whatever reaction is had. Here’s a mantra that helps: “I’m not responsible for other people’s happiness or reactions towards my own needs.”
HELP: Addictions* are very much associated with shame. Get help. Stop denying. Anything in excess is an issue and you need to learn how to let go of the emotions around failure and guilt. You can’t do it alone. This is why it’s important to ask for help.
* Addiction is a byproduct of the inability to be authentic because in your childhood someone imposed or controlled your outlook on how you should behave, what life path you should take, how you should take responsibility for what others think about you, all creating a limitation towards your journey in exploring your true self.
You have the ability to heal this. Now take a deep breath in, and exhale out knowing you are heading in the right direction. Can’t wait to see your true self!
For further insight or help email christinaprokos444@gmail.com
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SHAME
SHAME
I often hear people say, “I just feel bad about myself all the time.” Shame has this tricky ability to keep you small in your emotions of guilt, loneliness and hopelessness. When shame creeps up, it’s a consuming feeling that can easily set you back into a spiral of addiction, unhealthy relationships and patterns. Shame pulls you away from allowing yourself to express your authenticity. It’s an internal battle that can leave you feeling completely depleted.
The following are a few indicators of living in your shame:
HIDING YOURSELF: you are worried about what others may say, feel or how they react towards you.
SELF SACRIFICE: you give yourself to others with no boundaries, expecting to be valued or loved in return. Usually in the alignment of needing acceptance.
PEOPLE PLEASING: who doesn’t love someone who accommodates and abandons their time, money and energy towards saving others instead of helping themselves. Stop being over agreeable!
BLAME: blaming yourself for something you are not responsible for.
RESPONSIBILITY: taking responsibility for individuals choices and consequences so you look supportive and understanding. Again, in the alignment of needing approval.
SOCIAL ANXIETY: this can lead to addictions and no self control.
These few points strongly indicate how much power shame has over you. Nonetheless, there is hope! You can heal this part of you, even though it may feel like a big challenge to look at and be with your shame.
Healing your shame looks like the following:
BOUNDARIES: Knowing what you like and how you’d like to be treated, and then putting that in motion. Boundaries come with conviction. This creates more confidence in your ability to say NO.
SELF CARE: Setting a daily routine of eating and sleeping well. Also, understanding your limits which will allow for a clearer mindset.
MINDSET: Take your time when someone asks something of you. Think it through. If it’s not what you’d like to participate in, then let the individual(s) know. Learn to be okay with whatever reaction is had. Here’s a mantra that helps: “I’m not responsible for other people’s happiness or reactions towards my own needs.”
HELP: Addictions* are very much associated with shame. Get help. Stop denying. Anything in excess is an issue and you need to learn how to let go of the emotions around failure and guilt. You can’t do it alone. This is why it’s important to ask for help.
* Addiction is a byproduct of the inability to be authentic because in your childhood someone imposed or controlled your outlook on how you should behave, what life path you should take, how you should take responsibility for what others think about you, all creating a limitation towards your journey in exploring your true self.
You have the ability to heal this. Now take a deep breath in, and exhale out knowing you are heading in the right direction. Can’t wait to see your true self!
For further insight or help email christinaprokos444@gmail.com
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