The Truth In Value

I remember how I felt like the universe was completely against me, how insecure I was about living in my truth and how I felt like nothing I ever did was good enough. These feelings that I didn’t address at the time, were seriously blocking me from creating more in my life. It’s a vicious pattern of self-sabotage.

I remember as a child the struggle of money and the conversations of constant survival plaguing me. I lived in constant fear of life and growth because all around me they feared they would never have enough. This pattern was ingrained in me. I heard things like, “ you’re exactly like your father, money comes and goes,” or if I did buy myself something, my mother would shame me and make me feel guilty .There was never any relief around money.

This became my constant pattern and struggle. I went to school for the wrong reasons, I picked a job for the wrong reasons, I spent more money to hang out with people in places for the wrong reasons and all because that’s how life is supposed to be? The belief that life is a struggle and you have to work hard, to the point of you being broken ( this I often saw from my mother) was the only way you should be living! Omg! I hated myself, my life and I was constantly broke!

While others were moving ahead with my guidance and using what my abilities offered them, I was too scared to shine brighter, because if I did I heard that voice  in my head “ you gotta work harder” even though I was experience in my personal craft the insecurities around abundance we’re blocking me from living in my ability to do more and create more.

After healing my trauma (and of course there is still is more to learn), my  mother’s perspective of life, money and my father’s perspective of not being good enough, was playing in my life as a current cycle of chaos. I adopted their fear of failure, not having enough and shame. One day (after a months of depression , being broke, no direction ) I woke up and said to myself, I have to commit to a change and really shift my perspective of life and money. Why can’t I see it as a gift of joy and the ability to support my process in life and healing?

I changed , shifted and finally said, fuck it , what do I have to lose!

I left my job, changed my environment, started to get focused and created an authentic life for myself. I worked, but not to the point of betraying myself. I saved. I set intentions. I meditated daily ( by the way, the most successful people have a daily practice) I stopped caring about what others thought, or said about me. This was and still is a process I commit to daily.  I just stayed in my lane and reaped the rewards! Omg … the rewards!!!

Manifesting money became a game for me. It was so easy!  I created abundance and still am focusing on the expansion of  abundance but I realized I’m not my only source! Abundance means, it comes in many forms. It  wasn’t until I created my own values around money and changed the way I viewed it, that the conversation about  abundance shifted.

So my advice, get real with your relationship with abundance. Take time to change your beliefs around it, change the story your parents had about life and spend money on things that help you grow and feed your soul! Don’t spend money on things to fit in and above all don’t sabotage yourself from having more, doing more or wanting more in your life. Do you see the truth in valuing abundance?

Click Here – Daily Meditation Practice