Having a healthy relationship is key in your personal growth and well-being. Further, it brings out the best in us. We need relationships in our lives to learn more about who we are and what we want. We need connection. There is no perfect relationship. However, relationships require the commitment of two individuals that have built a connection and are willing to work at it everyday.
Love is complex, it is not meant to be in alignment to happiness everyday but consider the difference between a healthy relationship where you both are challenging growth, healing and love versus a relationship that robs all your joy and your health.
Here are some tips on a healthy relationship. It is also wise to consider when it’s a good time to walk away from a relationship that has caused you too much pain and no growth.
Communicate your thoughts
Always go in the direction of honesty. Sharing your thoughts can be very scary but it’s about letting the other individual in and part of you so that they understand your boundaries. Be honest about your limits and what you can offer the relationship. Take the time to think through what you would like to communicate, especially if you have had a hard time with past relationships and any traumatic experiences in your life.
It is important that the person understands your triggers so that they respect you enough not to cross those boundaries.
Take your time to process what you would like to say and vocalize it. For non-communicators this can bring up a lot of anxiety, take your time so that you both are heard and respect each other’s thoughts, feelings and perspective.
Never assume or guess your partner’s feelings
When we assume we leave ourselves open to miscommunications. Take the time to either ask your partner what they are feeling or allow them the space to come to you and express what they are feeling. It is also important to check in with yourself and figure out why you may be feeling uncomfortable with the actions of your partner.
Follow through on what you say
When you set a boundary in a relationship you must follow through with what you say. Otherwise, you are sending mixed signals to your partner. When you cross your own boundaries it will cause emotional upset to yourself and then conflict will arise between each other.
If you make a promise you must stick to that promise and what you both agreed on. Follow through or eventually this may cause resentments in the relationship.
Take responsibility for your actions
It takes two in an argument and of course we have to consider what role we played in the argument. It is not fair to blame the other individual. Taking responsibility for your part is very important for conflict resolution.
Your sexual preferences
You need to be very clear on what your personal sexual preferences are in the bedroom. You must show and teach each other how to please each other. You have to create safety and trust. There should be clear communication and both individuals should be pleased equally.
Your approach to finances
In every relationship there should be truth about your current financial situation. As you both deepen your commitment to each other, such as potentially moving in, buying a home or just overall expenses through day-to-day experiences, you must disclose where you both are and where you both want to be financially. Teach each other and heal your finances if needed.
Your digital/online presence
We all love that selfie but be mindful that if you are in a healthy relationship that the photo is respectful not only for your partner but for yourself too. Some individuals do not want their picture on social media, respect that space. Please also note how much time you are spending on your phone and not on each other. We can get very distracted on our phones that we can miss out on what our partner was communicating to us or just simply spending time with each other after a long day.
Know when to move on
The purpose of relationships are so that we learn to grow together, heal and allow each other the experience of showing each other respect and love. If you have tried your hardest and are still in an unhealthy relationship then recognize that it’s time to move on. You should not compromise your own health or happiness if the other party is not working with you.
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Healthy Relationships
Having a healthy relationship is key in your personal growth and well-being. Further, it brings out the best in us. We need relationships in our lives to learn more about who we are and what we want. We need connection. There is no perfect relationship. However, relationships require the commitment of two individuals that have built a connection and are willing to work at it everyday.
Love is complex, it is not meant to be in alignment to happiness everyday but consider the difference between a healthy relationship where you both are challenging growth, healing and love versus a relationship that robs all your joy and your health.
Here are some tips on a healthy relationship. It is also wise to consider when it’s a good time to walk away from a relationship that has caused you too much pain and no growth.
Communicate your thoughts
Always go in the direction of honesty. Sharing your thoughts can be very scary but it’s about letting the other individual in and part of you so that they understand your boundaries. Be honest about your limits and what you can offer the relationship. Take the time to think through what you would like to communicate, especially if you have had a hard time with past relationships and any traumatic experiences in your life.
It is important that the person understands your triggers so that they respect you enough not to cross those boundaries.
Take your time to process what you would like to say and vocalize it. For non-communicators this can bring up a lot of anxiety, take your time so that you both are heard and respect each other’s thoughts, feelings and perspective.
Never assume or guess your partner’s feelings
When we assume we leave ourselves open to miscommunications. Take the time to either ask your partner what they are feeling or allow them the space to come to you and express what they are feeling. It is also important to check in with yourself and figure out why you may be feeling uncomfortable with the actions of your partner.
Follow through on what you say
When you set a boundary in a relationship you must follow through with what you say. Otherwise, you are sending mixed signals to your partner. When you cross your own boundaries it will cause emotional upset to yourself and then conflict will arise between each other.
If you make a promise you must stick to that promise and what you both agreed on. Follow through or eventually this may cause resentments in the relationship.
Take responsibility for your actions
It takes two in an argument and of course we have to consider what role we played in the argument. It is not fair to blame the other individual. Taking responsibility for your part is very important for conflict resolution.
Your sexual preferences
You need to be very clear on what your personal sexual preferences are in the bedroom. You must show and teach each other how to please each other. You have to create safety and trust. There should be clear communication and both individuals should be pleased equally.
Your approach to finances
In every relationship there should be truth about your current financial situation. As you both deepen your commitment to each other, such as potentially moving in, buying a home or just overall expenses through day-to-day experiences, you must disclose where you both are and where you both want to be financially. Teach each other and heal your finances if needed.
Your digital/online presence
We all love that selfie but be mindful that if you are in a healthy relationship that the photo is respectful not only for your partner but for yourself too. Some individuals do not want their picture on social media, respect that space. Please also note how much time you are spending on your phone and not on each other. We can get very distracted on our phones that we can miss out on what our partner was communicating to us or just simply spending time with each other after a long day.
Know when to move on
The purpose of relationships are so that we learn to grow together, heal and allow each other the experience of showing each other respect and love. If you have tried your hardest and are still in an unhealthy relationship then recognize that it’s time to move on. You should not compromise your own health or happiness if the other party is not working with you.
You are worthy of love and respect.
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