Idolizing body types as they are presented by media:
Social media is not real. Did you know that most of the girls that you see on social media spend hours at the gym, some have personal trainers, and for others, they have these accounts for their full time job as a model or celebrity. You can not compare the hours they spend on just their bodies and image to your life and who you are. You are diminishing your unique beauty by thinking or believing you need to look like a social media influencer(s).
It is so unfortunate that we still live in a society where the standard of beauty is depicted by a “beautiful” photo of a girl wearing a lot of makeup and adding a filter on top of it. Hey, I’m a victim to it myself! There is nothing wrong with loving hair, makeup and wanting to add a little sparkle to your look but if you are doing it because you reject yourself, this is not fair to you.
You are rejecting who you are and you along with other are missing out on how awesome you are!
Negative self-talk:
I hear myself doing it too! I call myself fat or “oh look I have a tummy roll” when I look in the mirror. That’s just it, when we look in the mirror we see all our imperfections. We are our own worst critics! The negative self-talk needs to be heard and understood, not fed into. What I mean is, there has to be a reason as to why you are putting yourself down, why your thoughts are out of control and your emotions take over.
You have to work through this part and sit with getting to know and understand why these thoughts are controlling your life. Why can they hurt you so much? Where did this pattern come from? How can you defeat the pattern?
There is no such thing as a quick fix. However, trying a little bit everyday goes a long way! Keep a journal and challenge your thoughts by working through them.
Challenge Journalling:
“I hate the way I look, everyone is judging”
Say to yourself – “ I challenge this thought”
Why are you feeling like this?
Who told you that you are being judged?
Did anyone make a comment?
Why do you hate the way you look?
Can you find things that you like about yourself?
Why is hate the word you use?
Shaming people who are too skinny:
This is true! There are a lot of people out there that feel self conscious about the fact that they are too skinny. If you are one of those people who has heard the comparisons, I’m really sorry that you weren’t heard and that your own pain was not valued.
We as a community have to support each other regardless of our body types. What we see in the mirror to us is real to us and that is a painful experience. There is obviously trauma associated as to why we are going through the shaming process but it is important to find supportive communities that can help us see our true selves.
For the skinny person struggling, the gym and building muscle could really help you start seeing the added bulk that you have been looking for.
Not knowing our own bodies:
This is the most important part of us, the body is designed to help us stay safe. It is strong. Not only do we have to value the gift of our bodies but we also need to value our internal world by taking the time to get to know it. It is important to spend time everyday being with our bodies. Being gentle and kind and also noticing when we need to get it moving and active.
Our minds can play tricks on us and tell us stories about the state of our bodies. I would recommend taking the time to drink water, heal, meditate and connect to breath so that you are learning from a place of clarity as to why your body is the way it is. Side note: Did you know that weight gain is associated with boundary violation? This means that you are feeling unsafe in your environment and your body is protecting you! It is adding extra weight so that you can stay grounded through not only your own negative self-talk but what you may be attracting due to your trauma!
Knowing ourselves and our bodies can help us really understand what our struggles have been.
Defining beauty as a look rather than a state of being.
Extreme dieting:
If you are someone who is always chasing the feeling of needing more, feeling trapped and never content with what you have, then you are someone who is living for the external gratification. This can also mirror with your relationship to food, bring up the discontentment of it or even the overall addiction to it. The vicious cycle of trying to feed the void. As a result, you may find yourself doing an extreme diet, extreme workouts or just completely giving up.
You need to know your limits and find balance in your life. What does balance mean to you?
Depression and cutting:
Sometimes how we feel about ourselves is a complete result of trauma. We may be suffering with depression because we feel we are not good enough and due to the feeling of extreme rejection we may even harm ourselves by not eating, binge eating and cutting ourselves. The hurting ourselves gives the body a sense of relief that it’s been trying to get.
This is were help and support is needed the most. You need to reach out and ask for the help you need. I know that shame is associated with it. I know that you have had extreme pressures put on you and that you think you need to be a specific way. They were wrong. You need to be you and finally accept who you are.
For all souls crossing over… I have never looked at death as an end, but as a journey to a new beginning. When I was a little girl I could feel the pain in others who had lost a loved one but I could never really connect to the sorrow myself. I remember holding the space for others to …
Boundaries I’ve never really understood the concept of boundaries until I started my profession. I was so unaware of all the people who were using me or abusing me in same way or form. I would allow others to fully take advantage of me because I had no sense of self; like a chameleon I …
During the last few weeks of being home in self isolation, I’ve been deepening my connection and listening through silent contemplation, the thoughts of the collective consciousness. The waves of silent emotions are overwhelming. I can feel the impact that loss of connection has created. That we created. Our busyness had already caused us to …
Having a healthy relationship is key in your personal growth and well-being. Further, it brings out the best in us. We need relationships in our lives to learn more about who we are and what we want. We need connection. There is no perfect relationship. However, relationships require the commitment of two individuals that have …
Body Shaming
Idolizing body types as they are presented by media:
Social media is not real. Did you know that most of the girls that you see on social media spend hours at the gym, some have personal trainers, and for others, they have these accounts for their full time job as a model or celebrity. You can not compare the hours they spend on just their bodies and image to your life and who you are. You are diminishing your unique beauty by thinking or believing you need to look like a social media influencer(s).
It is so unfortunate that we still live in a society where the standard of beauty is depicted by a “beautiful” photo of a girl wearing a lot of makeup and adding a filter on top of it. Hey, I’m a victim to it myself! There is nothing wrong with loving hair, makeup and wanting to add a little sparkle to your look but if you are doing it because you reject yourself, this is not fair to you.
You are rejecting who you are and you along with other are missing out on how awesome you are!
Negative self-talk:
I hear myself doing it too! I call myself fat or “oh look I have a tummy roll” when I look in the mirror. That’s just it, when we look in the mirror we see all our imperfections. We are our own worst critics! The negative self-talk needs to be heard and understood, not fed into. What I mean is, there has to be a reason as to why you are putting yourself down, why your thoughts are out of control and your emotions take over.
You have to work through this part and sit with getting to know and understand why these thoughts are controlling your life. Why can they hurt you so much? Where did this pattern come from? How can you defeat the pattern?
There is no such thing as a quick fix. However, trying a little bit everyday goes a long way! Keep a journal and challenge your thoughts by working through them.
Challenge Journalling:
“I hate the way I look, everyone is judging”
Say to yourself – “ I challenge this thought”
Why are you feeling like this?
Who told you that you are being judged?
Did anyone make a comment?
Why do you hate the way you look?
Can you find things that you like about yourself?
Why is hate the word you use?
Shaming people who are too skinny:
This is true! There are a lot of people out there that feel self conscious about the fact that they are too skinny. If you are one of those people who has heard the comparisons, I’m really sorry that you weren’t heard and that your own pain was not valued.
We as a community have to support each other regardless of our body types. What we see in the mirror to us is real to us and that is a painful experience. There is obviously trauma associated as to why we are going through the shaming process but it is important to find supportive communities that can help us see our true selves.
For the skinny person struggling, the gym and building muscle could really help you start seeing the added bulk that you have been looking for.
Not knowing our own bodies:
This is the most important part of us, the body is designed to help us stay safe. It is strong. Not only do we have to value the gift of our bodies but we also need to value our internal world by taking the time to get to know it. It is important to spend time everyday being with our bodies. Being gentle and kind and also noticing when we need to get it moving and active.
Our minds can play tricks on us and tell us stories about the state of our bodies. I would recommend taking the time to drink water, heal, meditate and connect to breath so that you are learning from a place of clarity as to why your body is the way it is. Side note: Did you know that weight gain is associated with boundary violation? This means that you are feeling unsafe in your environment and your body is protecting you! It is adding extra weight so that you can stay grounded through not only your own negative self-talk but what you may be attracting due to your trauma!
Knowing ourselves and our bodies can help us really understand what our struggles have been.
Defining beauty as a look rather than a state of being.
Extreme dieting:
If you are someone who is always chasing the feeling of needing more, feeling trapped and never content with what you have, then you are someone who is living for the external gratification. This can also mirror with your relationship to food, bring up the discontentment of it or even the overall addiction to it. The vicious cycle of trying to feed the void. As a result, you may find yourself doing an extreme diet, extreme workouts or just completely giving up.
You need to know your limits and find balance in your life. What does balance mean to you?
Depression and cutting:
Sometimes how we feel about ourselves is a complete result of trauma. We may be suffering with depression because we feel we are not good enough and due to the feeling of extreme rejection we may even harm ourselves by not eating, binge eating and cutting ourselves. The hurting ourselves gives the body a sense of relief that it’s been trying to get.
This is were help and support is needed the most. You need to reach out and ask for the help you need. I know that shame is associated with it. I know that you have had extreme pressures put on you and that you think you need to be a specific way. They were wrong. You need to be you and finally accept who you are.
New Meditation – Body Scan Click Here
Related Posts
To the souls crossing over…
For all souls crossing over… I have never looked at death as an end, but as a journey to a new beginning. When I was a little girl I could feel the pain in others who had lost a loved one but I could never really connect to the sorrow myself. I remember holding the space for others to …
Boundaries
Boundaries I’ve never really understood the concept of boundaries until I started my profession. I was so unaware of all the people who were using me or abusing me in same way or form. I would allow others to fully take advantage of me because I had no sense of self; like a chameleon I …
War of Loneliness
During the last few weeks of being home in self isolation, I’ve been deepening my connection and listening through silent contemplation, the thoughts of the collective consciousness. The waves of silent emotions are overwhelming. I can feel the impact that loss of connection has created. That we created. Our busyness had already caused us to …
Healthy Relationships
Having a healthy relationship is key in your personal growth and well-being. Further, it brings out the best in us. We need relationships in our lives to learn more about who we are and what we want. We need connection. There is no perfect relationship. However, relationships require the commitment of two individuals that have …